The way things are
by Emerald-eclipse
Summary: After losing to Arata in the Meijin match, Taichi talks about quitting karuta. Chihaya is not happy. TaichixChihaya. Will be a series of connected one-shots. Chapter 3 is up: In which Arata makes a decision.
1. Taichi and Chihaya

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Chihaya. That's actually a good thing.

**Chapter Summary: **After losing to Arata in the Meijin match, Taichi talks about quitting karuta. Chihaya is not happy. Future fic.

* * *

They lost.

Taichi ran his hand through his hair.

They were so close...yet Taichi and Chihaya lost against Arata and Wakamiya Shinobu in the Meijin and Queen matches. Again.

He really thought he could win this year. He really believed that just this once, with Chihaya at his back, he could finally defeat Arata. In the end, Taichi still lost by two cards. Chihaya's match dragged on a bit longer but she too lost by a two-card difference.

In the last year of High School, Arata won the Meijin match against Suoh Hisashi, managing to stay undefeated ever since. People were saying that he had a great chance of becoming the youngest Eternal Master in history. Chihaya's eyes shined brighter whenever she talked about how much closer Arata was to winning the respected title.

The Mizusawa crowd was now in their third year of university. Not many things had changed between them. They still practiced karuta every week and they still ate lunch together. They were still great friends although ever since their last member achieved A-rank, they often acted more like rivals than teammates. The only thing that _did _change was that the high school club house was exchanged for a vacant class room on campus and that Arata had been welcomed into their tiny group.

Nishida, Komano and Oe-san still belonged to the Suihoku Karuta Society and whenever tournament time rolled around they morphed into bullies, trying to upset the Shiranami Society crowd. Nishida did it without shame, laughing in much the same manner as Kitano-sensei. Komano in turn would deliver his statements - supported by data of course - in a deadpan tone while adjusting his glasses. Oe-san took on the more delicate, roundabout way of trading insults, hiding them behind flowery words and poems. Taichi had always known she had a way with words, a skill honed by reading many books and poems.

She could sum up a situation in one short brutal sentence and deliver it with a straight innocent face. Her comment about him being "jack-of-all-trades, master of none," still felt like a knife through his heart every time he thought about it.

Tsukuba and Hanano-san adopted the sadistic ways of Harada-sensei. They were boisterous and loud and honestly Taichi wouldn't have it any other way.

Thoughts about his friends brought a smile to Taichi's face chasing away his depression. At least for the moment. His friends came to root for him and Chihaya today, decked in their old Mizusawa Team T-shirts. The atmosphere in the Learning Center Second Floor Urayasu Room was electrifying, many old and new faces having shown up to observe the match.

This year marked the first time Taichi and Chihaya were the Master and Queen Challengers at the same time. In their senior year in high school, Chihaya went on with Arata to challenge Wakamiya Shinobu and Suoh Hisaishi for their titles but only Arata emerged victorious. Chihaya had been devastated, made worse by the fact that she felt as if Arata was leaving her behind again.

The following year she lost in the West vs. East Qualifiers against Ousaka Megumu. On the day of the match, Chihaya had been close to delirious with fever yet insisted on playing. Taking a queue card from Harada-sensei, she strove to win the first match, forfeited the second and left it to the third to decide the outcome of the Challenger tournament. In the end, Ousaka Megumu won by a margin and Chihaya fainted right after the results had been announced.

The sad thing was it was the same year that he, Taichi, went on to fight Arata for the Meijin title and lost by a five-card difference. To add insult to injury, the Chihayfuru card - the one card he was sure never to lose - was the last one to be taken from him. At that point, Chigiriki card was still in play, placed in the top right corner of Arata's formation. The Chihayafuru on the other hand was placed in the lower left corner of his own. When the time came, Taichi gambled by attacking the Chigiriki card. He never ever expected for his own card to be read, and before he realized, Arata had already swiped it away. That night was the first time Taichi got drunk and wondered if he should quit karuta.

He didn't.

In their second year of university neither he nor Chihaya managed to become the Challengers, having lost in the Eastern Representative Qualifiers. Suoh-san was back with vengeance, but he and Yamamoto-san still ended up losing against the reigning Master and Queen.

Taichi thought that on the tatami mat, Arata ceased being their friend, and really became a karuta god. The longer he was the Master the further away he seemed to be.

After today's matches, the ceremony, required picture taking and small talks with acquaintances, his friends suggested going out to eat. Taichi was going to take them up on the offer - God knows losing against Arata makes him want to drink himself to death every time. Surprisingly enough, it was Chihaya who declined for both of them.

"Taichi, can you stay behind with me?" He could only dumbly nod in agreement. Chihaya had cried a bit after her loss - as she was always prone to - but recovered quite admirably. Except for the slight redness of her eyes she looked like her loss didn't affect her that much. After exchanging good-byes, the group left, Oe-san patting him a few times on his arm. Chihaya asked him to wait for her before going off to talk with Arata.

Taichi got held back by Harada-sensei who stared at him in silence for five full minutes. In the end, his teacher shook him a few times by the shoulders - still without saying anything – nodded and left. Hiroshi-san, who was standing off to the side, looked as bemused as Taichi felt. His sempai only shrugged and ran to catch up with their sensei.

When Taichi finally found Arata and Chihaya, the guy had his arm around her shoulder. Neither of them noticed him, both engrossed in their discussion, Chihaya holding loosely onto Arata's hakama sleeve. Something twisted in Taichi's gut when Arata leaned down to say something into Chihaya's ear. He couldn't stay there any longer and as always he ran away.

He had been sitting on the steps to Omi Jingu Shrine for a while now, quietly observing his breath becoming visible in the cold air. He didn't feel like going back to the hotel.

"What should I do now?" he wondered out loud.

Today's matches kept replaying in his mind - the order in which the poems were read, the dead cards that showed up in each game, the multiple changes Arata did to his formation - _nasty bastard -_ the card placements...

Before the memorization period started, Arata had given him his trademark grin and said, "May the best man win," and all Taichi could think about was the Chihaya card taken from him two years ago. His face twisted in a grimace… Whether intentional or not, Taichi didn't like the double meaning behind Arata's words.

"May the best man win." Yeah, right. From the start Taichi knew he could never be the best.

He could never win against Arata when it came to karuta…He could never win against Arata when it came to Chihaya.

Taichi's mind registered the sound of approaching footsteps. He slowly looked up to see Chihaya stopping in front of him, the lights from the shrine lanterns illuminating her face. In her arms was the hakama packet, a duffel bag thrown over her shoulder. Her hair was still tied up, red flowers in them, a bit wilted, but still as vibrant as before.

"There you are! I was looking for you."

Taichi hung his head looking at the ground again. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't I tell you to wait for me? I wanted to stay with you," she sent him a grin.

Not that he noticed it. He was fidgeting with the strap of his sports bag. "What about Arata? Didn't you want to be with him?"

Chihaya furrowed her brows for a second but then shrugged and plopped down next to him, leaning back on her elbows to look up at the sky.

Taichi was exhausted. Physically, mentally, _emotionally._ He ran his hand through his hair. Her presence next to him, usually reassuring and sought after, felt wrong and irritating. Shouldn't she be somewhere else right now, like maybe next to Arata or something? Before he knew it words that he had been thinking for a long time finally left his mouth.

"I give up." – Chihaya's head snapped around to look at him – he ignored her and continued – "I should just give up on karuta…should have given up a long time ago…I'll never win against - "

SLAP

He felt a sting where Chihaya slapped him lightly on his cheek. It didn't hurt but her move still shocked him into silence. She looked at him, furious.

"What are you saying, Taichi?!"

He slowly raised his hand to touch his cheek looking at her like she grew an extra head.

"You were this close today - this close - from snatching the Meijin title from Arata! Give it one more year and that two card difference will shrink to one or zero difference for sure! I lost too. But you don't see me giving up, do you?" She looked down for a second, her voice turning from loud and angry to something quieter and more desperate – "If you quit karuta….it will be very hard to regain what you worked so long for! Why are you saying this now? Why do you want to give up?"

Taichi let his hand fall to his lap, unconsciously clenching it around the end of his scarf.

"Chihaya, it was always your goal to be the best in karuta. It was your goal to chase Arata. I just went with it. I never played for myself. I think it's time for me to step back."

Chihaya stayed quiet but when she looked up her eyes were spitting fire. There was so much force behind them that he actually thought about scooting back.

"Taichi, you are a liar. You love karuta. I know you do," and all he could think about was, "Dammit, it's not karuta that I love, it's _you_!" - growing angrier and angrier by the second.

Chihaya continued grabbing at his hand, "Come on Taichi…next year it will be us together, Meijin and Queen. If you give up now, who will play with me?"

He wasn't sure why but her words did not reassure him at all and only caused pure bitterness to rise within him. Why was he doing this to himself? He loved her but it didn't mean he had to go through torture like this, right?

Gosh, he was a masochist. In love with the one girl he knew he could never have. Playing a game he knew he could never win.

With difficulty Taichi pulled his hand away from Chihaya's – "Everything karuta, you did for the sake of reaching Arata. You've always loved him…always. You guys don't need me here to stand between you. It's not me that should be the Master next to you Chihaya. It's Arata" He stared off to the side, missing her look of confusion.

"Huh? Taichi, what are you talking about?"

He ignored her grabbing his bag. He started walking away, Chihaya still trying to catch his attention from behind his back.

"Oi, Taichi….Taichi….Taichi! – Wait! -….TAICHI!"

Chihaya - in a stroke of brilliance - decided to back knee* him, causing Taichi to fall hard to the ground with a shout. Groaning, he sat up gingerly, looking at his dirty and hurting palms. He snapped angrily, "What the heck was that for?!" trailing off soon after catching sight of Chihaya. She was crying again, anger mixed with hurt reflected on her face.

"Taichi… You don't get anything at all! Don't pretend like you know what other people are thinking!" Chihaya stubbornly wiped her tears away but more kept falling.

"...It's true that I used to love Arata...he introduced me to the world of karuta….he helped me find my dream. He was there as a guide and as someone to aspire for. He was a great teammate and friend and teacher and yes, he was someone I fell in love with…"

Taichi felt his heart breaking into million pieces….He moved to get up planning to run away and never look back when suddenly Chihaya slid down to the ground grasping his shoulders and holding him in place. She looked straight into his eyes and Taichi found it difficult to look away.

"But Taichi, Arata was over there. He was always in front of us…" She sent him a wobbly smile. "But you…you were always beside me. Right next to me. Sometimes in front, sometimes at the back, but always, _always_ here! I want us to fight together again next year. I want us to win…and …I want the two of us to become Meijin and Queen….together." The last word had been whispered and Taichi nearly missed it.

He really had to force himself not to read too much into what she had just said. It sounded too close to a love confession than he would have preferred, _than he could take_. His traitorous heart still skipped a beat and equally traitorous mind whispered about what ifs. He desperately shook his head ridding himself of any hope. Taichi hung his head, his bangs falling in front of his eyes, hiding his eyes and the tears that he didn't want to admit were forming there. He lightly grasped Chihaya's hands and peeled them away from his shoulders.

"Fine…I won't quit." It hurt to say those words but he did.

Chihaya smiled through her tears, "You understand then, don't you?

He nodded looking away, "I will keep helping you …until the day you can reach Arata."

He started picking himself up from the ground when suddenly Chihaya pulled hard at his arm. Taichi fell again with a shout nearly bowling over her smaller posture. She snapped at him furiously,

"Arata, Arata, Arata, all you talk about is Arata! I'm the one who was in love with him but why is it that you're the only one mentioning his name?!"

He stared at her shell shocked, mouth parted, but Chihaya wasn't finished.

"I might have been in love with Arata in the past but it's the you in front of me that I love right now! "

She stood up quickly grabbing at her belongings, "I have enough! Do what you want and see if I care anymore!" she glared at him and stomped away furiously.

For the moment, Taichi was too shocked to move. Her final words kept replaying in his mind.

"_The you in front of me is the one I love right now_!"

With a burst of speed he didn't know he possessed, Taichi caught up with Chihaya, turned her around and pulled her into his arms. The sound of her bag and hakama hitting the ground vaguely registered in his mind but right then he could only feel her body against his, strawberry and vanilla mixed with the scent of sweat and tatami mat invading his nose as he buried his face into her hair.

"_The one I love right now_," her words echoed in his mind. He wanted to hear them again...

He wanted to hear them again...

His mind screamed, _say it, say it, say it, say it, say it…-_

"Say it again,"- he found himself voicing his thoughts, his grip tightening around Chihaya, bringing her even closer.

"Eh?"

"Say it again…that you like me…."

Chihaya stayed quiet. Taichi suddenly felt cold and couldn't help but wonder if he somehow misheard misunderstood, mis-something!

"Was it a lie?"

This time Chihaya reacted by trying to wriggle out of his arms,

"Are you stupid? Why would I lie about that?!"

"Then say it again!" he all but shouted shocking her into silence.

"Please…" He didn't know what he would do if it wasn't true. If she suddenly turned around and said, "Just kidding." He knew he would never be able to pick himself up from this fall. He was pathetic. There was no going back from this moment.

They both stayed silent.

After what felt like eternity he felt her body relaxing against his, her arms slowly wounding around his waist. She put her chin on his shoulder and whispered into his ear – "I love you, Taichi."

He couldn't believe it….he couldn't. He brought her closer-

"Again."

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

"Ag-…ain."

"I love you."

The tears he was holding back since today's loss, since he saw Arata and Chihaya together, since he heard Chihaya's confession - heck since forever really - finally trailed down his cheek. He hid his face in her shoulder, quite embarrassed at his overemotional state. He was the calm, collected Mashima Taichi for God's sake.

If Chihaya could feel his shoulders shaking and feel his tears sliding down her neck she ignored them. She only held on tighter, and whispered into his ear again.

"I love you."

They stood there for a long time. Long after he had calmed down. Long after the last train had left.

They lost tonight's match, but they gained something else.

* * *

**A/N.** I'm sorry if the characters might seem OOC to you. They are older after all, and in my opinion the longer you harbor an unrequited love the more messed up you become. Hence, the insecurity that Taichi feels and possible explanation to his overreaction to Chihaya's confession. Imagine all that pent up frustration finally finding a release.

This story will be a series of loosely interconnected one-shots. Probably three of them. Maybe more…probably more. Because I can't seem to stop writing.

Timeline (although my goal was to make it clear enough in the chapter itself): This takes place 3 years after the Core Mizusawa group, meaning Taichi, Chihaya, Kana-chan, Komano and Nishida, had graduated from High School. They are now in their third year of University while Hanano and Tsukuba are in their second year. I'm making it an assumption that they all go to the same Uni (with Arata).

I'm sorry I've been spamming the Chihayafuru fandom with my fics.

Next up: Taichi calls Arata up to break the news.

*to back knee somebody (made up word)- when a person uses their own knees to knock them against the back of somebody else's knees causing the other person to fall. If someone knows the correct term for that move, please tell me D:


	2. Taichi and Arata

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Chihaya. That's actually a good thing.

**Chapter Summary: **Taichi calls up Arata to break the news. In which Taichi has his doubts and Arata talks.

**A/N**: _italics_ - actual quotes from manga chapter 105. Consider this a spoiler warning. It's only three sentences though.

* * *

Taichi called Arata up two weeks after the Meijin Match.

"Taichi! It's good to hear from ya'… Yes, I'm free this Saturday. Meijin duties don't start until next month...12pm? Sure… How about that café near Bubaigawara stop?...Great, I'll see you there… Will Chihaya be joining us?…No?...All right, just the two of us then."

Taichi found himself fidgeting in one of the café seats an hour before the actual meeting time. He was on his fourth cup of tea, trying without success to calm his nerves, dreading the upcoming conversation.

Lost in thoughts, Taichi startled when someone slid into the chair opposite of him. Arata looked a bit flushed, his hair wind-swept, cheeks and nose red from the winter cold. However, the guy looked as collected as ever, sending him a warm smile while loosening the scarf around his neck. Taichi did a double take…was that a Snowmaru pattern on his scarf?

After the initial greeting Taichi had to excuse himself to use the restroom. He stayed there staring at his reflection in the mirror. He took a deep breath - he didn't understand why he was so nervous – and exhaled. There really was nothing to be nervous about. Taichi ruffled his hair in annoyance foregoing the calming breathing exercises.

It was just Arata.

He chuckled humorlessly.

Just Arata. Up until now his self-proclaimed rival in everything that mattered and his best friend.

No biggie.

During the time Taichi was in the restroom, Arata had ordered for them two cups of black coffee. His coat was now unbuttoned, his scarf hanging over the back of the chair. He didn't comment on why Taichi took so long to come back. They sat there making small talks and Taichi felt himself marginally relaxing when suddenly Arata put down his cup on the table.

"So…what did you want to talk about?"

Taichi blinked and wet his lips. He took a sip of his coffee, the bitter liquid refusing to go down his throat easily. He cleared his throat. Multiple times. Arata only quirked an eyebrow.

There was only one way to do this, Taichi thought.

"I'm going out with Chihaya."

Arata blinked and briefly averted his eyes before looking back at Taichi. He smiled, "Congratulations."

Taichi felt a flash of annoyance at Arata's nonchalant behavior. He clenched his hand around the coffee cup staying silent. What the heck? Congratulations?

Arata took a sip from his own cup gazing out of the window.

"Is that all you have to say?" Taichi finally asked through gritted teeth.

Arata stayed silent still not looking at Taichi. Taichi downed the rest of his coffee in one go. He slammed his cup down getting an annoyed glare from a passing-by waitress.

"Taichi, remember back in high school, during the Yoshino Society Tournament…" Arata finally spoke up, his eyes glazed over a bit. "We decided that Chihaya didn't belong to either of us."

Taichi nodded not sure where this conversation was going.

"_Somehow I always thought Chihaya belonged to you...__"_

"_What are you even saying, stupid. To me…To me Chihaya belongs to the both of us"._

"_Chihaya doesn't belong to anyone."_

Taichi thought a bit annoyed. "You were the one who arbitrarily decided it."

The thing is, Taichi took those words to heart. Chihaya didn't belong to anyone. Arata's voice brought him back to the present.

"Even though I might have truly believed it at the time…Deep down, I still thought that she belonged with you."

Taichi looked down at the table, a black coffee spot catching his attention. If he squinted at it the right way it kinda looked like Daddy Bear… Taichi sighed shaking his head. Why was Arata dredging up that old conversation?

Arata's voice suddenly snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Chihaya confessed to me in high school."

Taichi's eyes widened in shock.

"After the time I won the Meijin match and she lost her Queen match against Shinobu."

Taichi finally looked up at Arata.

"I turned her down," Arata said calmly finishing his coffee.

This was the first time he ever heard about this… Taichi suddenly felt cold. Did this change anything? It's been three years since then. Why now? Why then? Why didn't Chihaya tell him about this? Hell, why didn't Arata tell him about this before?

"Why?"

Arata was playing with his now empty cup of coffee.

Taichi added. "I thought you used to like her?"

Wasn't this the whole reason why they had that conversation about belonging and not belonging or what not? Wasn't Chihaya the reason why Arata came back to Tokyo?

Arata stopped fidgeting with his cup. "See Taichi, you _thought_ I liked her. And I did. Definitely as a friend. Maybe even more than that, in the one way that really counts."

"Then why?" Taichi asked again desperately. Chihaya told him...she told Taichi that she loved him. Did it change anything now that Taichi knew she had said the same words to Arata before?

Arata looked straight into Taichi's eyes.

"I didn't want to lose our friendship. The friendship the three of us had… "

Taichi suddenly felt furious. He shot out of his seat pulling Arata up by the collar of his shirt. He hissed through his teeth.

"Are you a fucking moron? That was the only reason? The only reason why you turned her down, make her cry?"

Taichi remembered now. There was a time after the Meijin and Queen Tournament in high school when Chihaya wasn't acting like her usual self. The Mizusawa team members all chucked it up to her loss against Wakamiya Shinobu and decided to leave Chihaya be for now. Which didn't mean they didn't worry. Her behavior was quiet erratic. She would suddenly start crying as certain poems were read and lose in practice matches that she really shouldn't. He would observe her working twice as hard yet become worse and worse as time went on. Taichi never realized that her broken state might have been caused by Arata all along.

"Answer me!"

Arata's eyes flashed in anger. "What did you expect me to do, Taichi? Maybe it was a selfish and arbitrary decision on my side but I really took all our feelings into consideration! I wasn't worrying about myself or Chihaya, Taichi. We would have stayed friends no matter what. It's you who wouldn't have been able to take it like an adult, opting to run away like a coward!"

Taichi deflated letting go of Arata's collar. He slumped back into his chair.

Was he really that transparent? He knew it too deep down that he wouldn't have been able to take it if the two of them got together. Knowing himself he'd have ran away, away from everything, from karuta, from Arata, and even further from Chihaya… But -

"I don't need your fucking pity," Taichi said in a resigned tone.

"It wasn't pity. It was…foresight?" Arata sighed adjusting his neck collar. "Think it over Taichi but don't over think. Don't think that you are hurting me when you are with her, don't doubt your own decision and most importantly don't doubt Chihaya's feelings for you. They are definitely there and they are real."

Arata picked up his scarf and grabbed the check from their table.

"Besides, feelings can change… I know that." Arata sent him a final smile, probably to show he wasn't going to hold any grudges and left to pay for their drinks. Taichi didn't stop him. However, he followed him with his eyes only now noticing something.

Without doubt, Wakamiya Shinobu was standing outside in the chilly weather, a Snowmaru hat covering her hair. She was dressed quiet normally, in a simple coat and a girly, frilly dress. She turned around when Arata came out of the café. Taichi was sure he caught her eye for a brief moment, before she went back to looking at Arata. Surprisingly, a genuine smile was on her lips. They both stood there for a few moments, probably talking, before walking away, Wakamiya Shinobu's hand in Arata's.

Taichi wasn't sure what to think or feel. Feelings can change, can't they?

Taichi always knew that Chihaya lo…liked Arata. After Arata's return, he came to believe the feelings were mutual. However, over the three years they were all together…nothing happened between the other two leaving Taichi with mixed feelings.

On one hand it was like the old times. The three of them playing karuta together, going to classes together. It was ridiculous how similar it was to the times before Arata left. Surreal even. On the other hand, Taichi kept expecting to show up at the karuta club just to find out that Arata and Chihaya started going out.

And then, BAM! Only two weeks ago Chihaya confessed her feelings to him. Yes, to him - to Mashima Taichi, and not Wataya Arata! He was still reeling in shock from the turn of events, not sure how it was possible that the story of their childhood love triangle, using Hanano-san's words not his, ended with him and Chihaya becoming a couple.

His phone rang breaking him out of his thoughts. He flipped it open, staring for a brief moment at the picture of him and Chihaya, before pressing the green button.

"Taichi! Wanna meet up?"

He looked out of the window.

"Sure. Did you want to practice karuta?"

The other side went silent for a while.

"Chihaya?"

"Well….I was thinking if you would like to do something else instead?" Her voice sounded hesitant and Taichi's eyes widened a bit. He didn't expect that.

"Uhm, sure. How about we meet up first and decide later where to go?"

"Sounds good! 1pm the usual place?"

"Yeah, I'll see you."

Taichi sat there staring at his phone after Chihaya hung up. He wondered if he will ever get used to the idea that Chihaya…was his.

He put the cell phone back in his pocket shrugging on his coat.

No, scratch that. No matter what Arata said, he still believed that Chihaya couldn't belong to anybody.

On his way out he nodded to the head waitresses who in turn bowed back. He wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck, tucking his glove-less hands inside the coat pockets.

Chihaya belonged to herself. She belonged with karuta…

He shivered a bit at the cold thinking,

It's him who will always belong to her…

As he started walking towards the station, Taichi grinned.

… and he wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

**A/N**: Hmmm I don't know about this chapter. There will be two separate chapters from Arata's and Chihaya's point of view. Arata's decision might make more sense by the time we're done with this fic.

If you see any mistakes feel free to point them out. My grammar is acceptable at best.

**e.d. 9/19/2013** I wasn't going anywhere with the way the next chapter was set up. So I scraped the draft, trading team dynamics development for Arata's side of the story.

Next up: In their last year of high school Arata and Chihaya go on to challenge the reigning Meijin and Queen. Arata makes a decision.


	3. Arata

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Chihayafuru. Which is a good thing. I do sometimes curl into a ball and cry for its characters, if that counts fo something.

**Chapter Summary: ** In their last year of high school, Arata and Chihaya go on to challenge the reigning Meijin and Queen.

**Warning:** Easy to overlook spoiler for the manga.

* * *

Chihaya could be seen pacing in front of the Urayasu Hall. After scolding her for the unseemly behavior, Harada-sensei sent her away to calm down in one of the waiting rooms.

She paced in there too.

"Chihaya-chan, shouldn't you be used to tournaments by now?" Oe-san asked from her seat, nervously playing with the sleeve of her sweater.

"But this is the Queen match, Kana-chan. I am playing against Shinobu-chan today."

Taichi sighed exasperated, "What's the point of getting so wound up? You played against her before."

She turned around snapping at him, "But not in a Queen match! I played against Shinobu-chan the high school girl, Shinobu-chan the young prodigy, Shinobu-chan the Snowmaru fan! I've never played against Shinobu-chan the Queen!"

Taichi took a step back at her vehement declaration, quickly sending him a look that screamed _help me out here, Arata._

He walked up setting a calming hand on Chihaya's shoulder, watching the frustration slowly leaving her face. Her eyes, however, stayed filled with doubt, so unlike the usual Chihaya who only wished to play and never worried about the outcome. He poked her between her furrowed brows.

"Why are you making such a scary face?" He smiled in amusement as her hands flew up to her forehead, a light blush settling on her cheeks.

A movement from the corner of his eyes made him look up, catching the sight of Taichi leaving the room and Hanano-san running after him.

He shook his head pushing back the quite irrational and unrelated feeling of sadness. He turned back to Chihaya who stared down at her feet.

"Keep your head high, Chihaya. You're the Challenger today," he squeezed her shoulder, "we both are."

"Arata," Murao-san interrupted him from the door, "Kuriyama-sensei wants to talk with you before the match."

He was on his way out when Chihaya latched onto the sleeve of his kimono dragging him to a stop. She opened her mouth a few times, but no words came out. He waited patiently for her to say something, but Oe-san walked up to them gently prying off Chihaya's fingers from his clothes.

"Chihaya-chan let me fix your hakama before you go." The girl only nodded.

* * *

"Wataya-kun…Wataya-kun…Wataya-kun."

Kuriyama-sensei kept repeating his name. Arata didn't want to rush him, but he needed to head for the Hall soon. Kuriyama-sensei was usually better with his words but tonight they seem to be failing him spectacularly.

All the members of Fukui Karuta Society who came to support him looked on in amusement. Arata sent a desperate look to Murao-san, who only looked away trying to cover his smirk. _Thanks for nothing, Murao-san._

"Wataya-kun…Wataya-kun…Wataya-kun." Kuriyama-sensei continued.

Arata actually sighed in relief when a voice shouted from down the hall, "The matches will commence in five minutes!"

He bowed towards his teacher.

"I will do my best, Kuriyama-sensei."

His teacher set a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Your Grandfather…would have been very proud of you, Wataya-kun."

He walked through the crowd, other members patting him on the back or shaking his hands, sending him final parting words of advice and good luck. Murao-san followed him in silence. He arrived at the door at the same time as Shinobu-chan did. She sent him - what he dubbed - her winter smile, the one that froze men in their steps in fear but had no effect on him. All it reminded him of was the falling snow over the mountain peaks.

Inside the room, he came face to face with his opponent for tonight. Suou-meijin slowly chewed on a cracker, sending him a look of indifference with just a hint of smugness. A profusely sweating member of the Karuta Association, who largely went ignored, stood to the side trying to tell him food was not allowed inside the Hall. Camera flashes went off around the two of them.

Suddenly, he felt a presence at his side. It was Chihaya. He smiled down at her, noting the nervous girl from before was gone, but the usual Chihaya wasn't there either.

Next to him stood Chihaya the Challenger, her eyes alight with determination, her gaze fixed firmly on Shinobu-chan's back.

"Chihaya-san!" Suou-meijin bounded up towards them, a happy grin stretched on his face. "May I just say, you look lovely today." Arata felt a vein throb on his forehead as he fought the urge to step protectively in front of the girl.

"Would you like a chocolate?" Suou-san continued, holding out a candy.

Chihaya reached out towards him, but instead of grabbing the sweet, she gently lowered his hand. She looked at him saying, "Please take us more seriously, Suou-san."

Arata observed as Suou-san's creepy smile faded away to be replaced by a look of cold determination and of utmost confidence. He nodded at them and walked away to kneel down on the tatami mat. He finally looked like a Master.

Arata felt he should say something, but Chihaya beat him to it.

"I will…I will play inside that room today too," and there was no doubt what room she was talking about. He nodded and no other words were exchanged between them. He observed her as she walked towards Shinobu-chan, shoulders squared and head held high.

Suddenly, he was grabbed by the back of his kimono and turned around. Taichi stood there panting for breath. His hair was windswept and face flushed as if he had been running outside in the cold.

"May the players take their seats, please? The matches will begin soon."

His friend stared at him in silence. Arata shook his head smiling at Taichi, because no words were needed between the two of them either.

* * *

Arata wondered if it's possible to cough out your own lungs from being slapped on the back too much.

Everybody was trying to congratulate him all at once, and he still couldn't believe he had won.

Before the memorization period started for the fifth round, Suou-san sent him a lazy smile, his last two losses having no apparent effect on his annoying demeanor:

"Wataya-kun, we both know the only reason you are here is because Harada-sensei did not participate in this year's tournament." Arata unconsciously sneaked a peek at Harada-sensei who sat in the front row with arms crossed in front of his chest. From the way he was carrying himself, nobody would have believed he had gone through a heart attack just a few months ago.

Arata turned back to his cards switching the position of the two _Kimi ga Tame_ poems, "Suou-_san_, have you lost your confidence so much, you have to resolve to dirty, psychological tricks?"

Suou-meijin looked at him and Arata thought he saw approval in those eyes.

Even before the match, Arata knew he could win. And he did.

Now, he looked around trying to locate the one person he really wanted to see. He caught sight of Taichi approaching him. His friend sent him a wide grin and rose up his hand. Arata gave him a high five. They stood there grinning, and Arata could for a brief moment forget the look of hurt on Taichi's face before the match.

"Can you…talk to her, please?" A smile lingered on Taichi's face but he looked dejectedly at the ground, sadness and weariness setting over his shoulders. Arata decided he didn't like seeing him like that.

* * *

He found her behind the building, her face hidden in her arms. He slid down the wall shifting closer to her until their arms were touching. She looked up at him with eyes red from crying, before averting her gaze. All words escaped him. What was he suppose to tell her anyway?

He had been sure both of them would win together; become Meijin and Queen at the same time. There was no room for doubt, yet it didn't come true.

He wondered if this was a sign the two of them were not meant to be.

He quietly observed his own breath materialize in the chilly air, thoughts going back to tonight's matches. He no longer remembered the card placements from the first four rounds, by now too good at forgetting. But he remembered the adrenaline rush, the thrill of taking the cards, Suou-meijin's swipes as light as the wind, and the sharp pain he felt, as he turned around to look at the Queen match, just to see the last card of the third round fly past him, swept away by Shinobu-chan's hand, sealing Chihaya's loss.

"I like you, Arata. I really like you."

His breath caught in his throat, and his body involuntarily stiffened. He snapped his head to look at Chihaya. She held his gaze for a brief moment, before using her sleeve to wipe at her face.

A few strands fell out of her ponytail framing her blushing face. His heart squeeze painfully, and he thought he had never seen anyone this beautiful before. He felt an urge to touch her, get even closer to her. He reached out not entirely sure what he was going to do.

She suddenly took a huge breath before exhaling, the move reminding him so much of Taichi that he hesitated. In that split moment a few memories flashed before his eyes and his eyes widened.

He saw himself with Chihaya and Taichi - the three of them together – playing in the snow, jumping into piles of autumn leaves, studying and bickering, playing their first team match together, and walking together from school. He remembered how they cried on his last day in Tokyo, the emptiness he felt after coming back to Fukui; _let's play together again- please don't tell Chihaya – karuta is fun – I wanted to see you! _Their voices blurred together in his memory. He felt, again, the rush from chasing after the train with all his might. He felt, again, the burning feeling in his lungs from shouting at the top of his lungs. He saw the swirling cherry blossom petals, Chihaya's crying face, Taichi's sad smile, Chihaya's intense gaze before the match, and Taichi's resigned look but eyes full of trust. And lastly, he saw Chihaya and Taichi playing against each other in Yoshino Society Tournament, as he observed from the side. At the time he asked himself, why it wasn't him playing with them, heart full of regret and just a tiny bit of bitterness.

It was because it wasn't his place anymore.

He allowed his hand to fall for a moment before bringing it up again. He gently put an arm over Chihaya's shoulder pulling her closer towards him. He rested his cheek on her hair breathing in her scent, trying at the same time to engrave this moment into his heart.

When he hesitantly touched her face to make her look up, he knew he was going to hurt himself as much as he was going to hurt her. He still made himself look straight into her eyes and smile, "Thank you Chihaya for your confession. But I can't return your feelings."

Her eyes widened in shock, tears welling up and sliding down her cheeks. He gently wiped them away, trying to memorize her face in that moment. He hugged her again only a bit surprised she didn't push him away.

Call him foolish, call him naive. And even though he told Taichi he believed Chihaya didn't belong to any of them, deep down he still believed that Taichi belonged with her for sure.

Chihaya sobbed out, "Please, don't become the karuta god, Arata!"

His heart clenched. He held her even closer, "I'll always be your friend, Chihaya," and in his mind he thought, _I'll never leave again.  
_

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you for reading my story and a bigger thank you for Indochine, MissieMae, JasmiDragon92! You guys made my day with your reviews.

**About this chapter:** This chapter was supposed to be done as a flashback during Arata's first year in university. I wanted the Mizusawa crowd to go camping and have some cool interaction between Arata and the other characters. Sadly, it didn't work out. And then chapter 118 came out and I _had to_ include a little bit of Suou-meijin. Also, it's so difficult to write Arata. That's why I've started another story. If you would like to read it, it's titled "For you-Kimi ga Tame." Surprisingly, it's a ChihayaxArata flash fic BUT with a lot of Taichi thrown into the mix. Because I love him to bits.

My goal, as always, is to improve my grammar. A reviewer told me I'm getting better. That made my day.

**Next up:** Taichi and Chihaya try to figure out how to be in a relationship.

**ed**. Oops, my page breaks didn't transfer properly. Fixed


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